Are you worthy of your own time, energy, and love? (Hint: the answer is yes!)
Hey, mama! I see you, busy lady. You’ve been working so hard. You give all that you can to your family and then some. Not only are you completely responsible for keeping one or more small humans alive, but you’ve also got an extended list of all these other responsibilities (hello paying bills and doing chores). You’re in the trenches constantly, totally sleep-deprived, and you’re still doing an amazing job!
But, how often do you slow down and treat yourself with the same level of love you give to your kids or others?
When you’re a mom, it turns out you have to completely redefine your idea of self-love, because you no longer have the time, energy, or money to do all the lovely things that you used to do, like treating yourself to a monthly massage or spending the entire weekend binge-watching Netflix.
In fact, when was the last time you went to a cafe ALONE, ordered a sweet treat, and read a book while sipping on your latte? It’s been a long time, right? Most moms reach a point where they forget (or simply can’t find the time) to love on themselves. Solo cafe time for moms? Pardon me? Where does that fit into your day?
And yet, ‘filling your own cup' is an essential part of motherhood.
Brene Brown described it best when she said: “You can only love your child as much as you love yourself.” Prioritizing your family is an incredible value to have, and a beautiful way to move through life, provided that the most important aspect of your life is also tended to: YOU.
We need self-love not only so we have enough energy and mental stamina to manage (or should I say survive?) our busy lifestyles, but also to be loving, supportive partners and set a beautiful example for our children of how to love and care for ourselves. How often do you tell your kids how awesome, special, and talented they are? How often do you shower your significant other with praise and kind words of encouragement?
Now, think about how often you do the same for yourself.
Darling, you are worthy of self-love!
Carving out just 30 minutes a day for a little “me time” is so important. In fact, leaving the house, the kids, the cooking, and the laundry is really important if you want to have big picture clarity about who you are and where you’re going.
Give yourself permission to care for yourself because you are worthy of your own love. You deserve to feel good, stay sane, and enjoy those parts of your identity that span far beyond motherhood. It’s okay to think about your ambitions, travel dreams, and the big, wide world that exists beyond your family bubble. After all, life is short and precious, and you’re worthy of living the most magical, soul-fulfilling, heart-warming, joyful life!
"You are more than a mom. You have a name and an identity apart from motherhood. Your life isn’t on hold. You have created and are shaping LIVES. You are powerful and dynamic. You are not defined by your occupation or lack [there]of." — Charis Retherford
Battling with your inner critic.
Moms have a tendency to put pressure on and overextend themselves, and then feel guilty or selfish for spending any time away from their families. As if our inner voices are saying: “how dare you spend any energy or time on yourself!”
We’re all trying to keep up with the “super moms” around us and act like we love every minute of being a mom. But the truth is that being a mom is tough work and we shouldn’t feel selfish about wanting to take a break or carving out some desperately needed, guilt-free, me-time!
Because here’s the thing…
Every mom secretly wishes she could take a day off the diaper changes, bottle and breast feedings, school drop off, carpooling, complaining, peacekeeping, and homework checking.
Every mom gets it wrong before she gets it right. We all make mistakes, and we’ve all frantically Googled things like “how do I make my kid stop peeing on the floor?” and “how do I make my boobs stop leaking whenever I hear crying?”
Every mom has said no to events, activities, and people that are counting on her to protect her boundaries—including her parents, in-laws, neighbors, mommy groups, and significant other!
Every mom prays for an extra hour of sleep, to not be woken up in the middle of the night, and to have some peace and quiet on the weekends so she can sleep in.
Every mom has secretly thought about how nice it would be to have a home that’s not covered in kid’s toys, messy fingerprints, and dirty laundry. It would be a DREAM to have a nanny, a cleaner, and/or a private chef!
You are not alone!
"There’s no way to be a perfect mother and a million ways to be a good one." — Jill Churchill
Here are five simple, budget-friendly ways to practice self-love as a Mom:
1. Create a weekly ritual that allows you some time alone.
Select the same day and time of the week and schedule something you love doing into your calendar on an ongoing basis, like taking a bubble bath or reading a book. Yes, I have a stack of those too!
2. Enjoy something that you did before you had kids.
Perhaps a bike ride around your local park or a day at the swimming pool? When was the last time you went hiking, ice skating, or dancing?
3. Take control of your environment.
Play music or listen to your favorite audiobooks in the car every now and then, instead of constantly listening to kids’ sing-along songs. Make space in your home that’s strictly kid-free so you can unwind and relax in peace.
4. Create a vision board of goals that you have for your life.
Include plans that have nothing to do with being a good mom or wife, like starting a new business, losing weight, running a marathon, or starting a veggie garden.
5. Join a community group, sports team, or hobby club.
Connect with other women you can relate to that might have non-judgmental solutions to help you on your motherhood journey. Or join a group that has absolutely nothing to do with being a mom to enjoy some time off!
“Maybe it is not about ‘A Room of One’s Own’ but ‘Time of One’s Own.’ I could use an hour to do nothing. Alone. An hour of complete silence." — Carrie Barron
Don't wait until your kids are ready to leave the nest to discover you who are, worthy of love time, and attention: your own, that is. Do it now. Set the example for them by being ALL that you are: CEO, cheerleader, chef, teacher, social events coordinator, calendar keeper, mediator, etc. and add BKTY'er to the top of your list.
Want to boost your self-love? Check out our BKTY philosophy or follow us on Instagram for more reminders, tips, insights, and inspiration!
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