Every day we have the chance to shape the way our loved ones think about themselves. Here are some simple ways to make them feel good!
We all know it feels heart-warming when your friends and family make the effort to help you feel better about yourself. Whether it’s a lovely compliment, an approving gesture, or a proud facial expression, it feels great to know they love and support you.
But, how often do you return that same encouragement, acceptance, and authentic praise to your loved ones? Daily? Weekly? Monthly?
Words and language have a much more powerful effect than you might imagine. Words framed in love can bring true joy and happiness to your partner’s day. Thoughtful compliments can inspire your kids to pursue their dreams and passions. Planting positive affirmations in your best friend’s mind can help them overcome their fears and step outside their comfort zone.
We all need cheerleaders in our corner! So how can you give your loved ones a boost of self-lovin’ encouragement and support? Here are a few fantastic ideas...
Ideas for your partner
1. Publicly praise their best qualities.
Whenever you get a chance, talk to your friends and family about what makes your partner so special. Can you share a story about how they solved a tough problem at work or used their kindness to help a random stranger? Have they been dedicated to becoming healthier or making an admirable effort to teach your kids new skills?
Talk about your partner’s best qualities both in front of them and when they’re not around. Raise them up! This will not only help to improve your partner's self-esteem but also improve the way your friends and family see them. You're basically helping to write the story of who your partner is, so make it awesome!
2. Reinforce how much you trust and believe in them.
Never assume your partner knows how you feel about them. Feeling unappreciated, undervalued, and not ‘seen’ is one of the quickest ways to build an invisible wall in your relationship. Neglecting to acknowledge your partner’s efforts and hard work can make them feel like they’re "not enough."
So take the time to remind your partner how grateful you are for them. Tell them how much you trust, respect, and believe in them. Boost their confidence by reminding them of how amazing/capable/talented/attractive they are. Thank them for their dedication to your family (and to you!).
Some of the biggest challenges in relationships come from the fact that most people enter a relationship in order to get something: they’re trying to find someone who’s going to make them feel good. In reality, the only way a relationship will last is if you see your relationship as a place that you go to give, and not a place that you go to take.
— Anthony Robbins
Ideas for your kids
3. Remember that your words become their inner voice.
Once you say something negative about your child, you can’t take it back. A simple comment about them being “lazy,” “careless,” or “bossy” could stick with them for many years and define the way they talk to themselves in adulthood.
Even though you may not have meant to be negative or intentionally put your kids down, sometimes they can continue to replay these words in their heads until they believe them to be true. So make sure you consistently use your words to build your kids up.
4. Make them feel important.
As adults with lots of responsibilities, it can be easy to forget that what’s important to us is very different from what’s important to our kids. Something as simple as your child talking about the clouds in the sky might not seem as important as the bills you need to pay or the long list of chores you need to get done, but, to your little explorer, it could mean the world!
So when your kids want to talk to you, put aside what you’re doing, look them in the eye and be genuinely interested in what they’re talking about. Making them feel like their opinions are valued will make such a positive impression on them. The last thing you want is for them to feel like your iPhone or grocery list is more important to you than them.
It's a tough time to be a kid. The teen suicide rate is soaring. More than one out of every five students say they've been bullied. Pressure for kids to achieve academically is at an all-time high. That's why bolstering your child's self-esteem is so essential.
— WorkingMother.com
Ideas for your friends and family
5. Call them out on their self-criticism.
When you notice your bestie or family member putting themselves down, respond with kindness and compassion. Tell them that what they’re saying isn’t true! For example, if they say something like “I’m so bad at this” or “I’m never going to be good at xyz,” try to give them a specific example of a time when you remember them excelling. Be proactive about challenging their negative thinking (in gentle and loving ways) and celebrate their past accomplishments.
6. Join them outside their comfort zone.
When your friends and family overcome their fears and get outside their comfort zone, it can give them an incredible confidence boost and make them feel proud of their accomplishments. But, facing their fears can be super scary and intimidating, so do it with them!
If your friend or family member mentions they wish they had the courage to try a Tough Mudder obstacle course, grab a pair of running shoes and join them in the challenge! Doing activities together that your loved one is afraid of will bring them out of their shell and make them feel like they’re on top of the world.
In everyone’s life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit.
— Albert Schweitzer
7. Ask for their advice.
Your friends and family members have a wellspring of wisdom, experience, and advice. Asking them for their input or to help you work through a problem can make them feel valued, appreciated, and smart.
You never know, they might have some great insights on everything from serious questions about relationships to more light-hearted issues like cooking, cleaning, or gardening tips. Being helpful and having a sense of purpose can boost their confidence, self-love, and self-esteem.
Want to learn more ways to boost your self-love? Check out our BKTY philosophy or follow us on Instagram for more reminders, tips, insights, and inspiration!
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