What is self-care and how can you make it a habit?
If your first impression of self-care is, “That sounds lovely and all, but I literally don’t have time for bath bombs or aerial yoga classes (and I don’t know how anyone else does, either),” it might be time for a self-care mindset adjustment.
“The words ‘self-care’ and ‘wellness’ have become a bit muddled,” says self-care pro and founder of Chillhouse, Cyndi Ramirez-Fulton. “The way I see it, self-care is a daily practice that doesn’t even need to be a beauty or wellness service.”
And we couldn’t agree more! While self-care can include pampering yourself, that’s not all it is. Too often, we settle for the idea that self-care means giving ourselves fancy treats and rewards for achieving things. But it’s so much more meaningful and important than that!
In her book, An Invitation to Self-Care, Tracey Cleantis, describes self-care as more than just routine self-indulgence. She says, “it’s a lifelong practice that’s essential to finding fulfillment and joy.” In fact, an authentic self-care practice is the secret to the life you’ve always wanted!
So, what is real self-care?
Self-care is the daily practice of prioritizing yourself and taking care of your own physical and emotional needs. It’s being aware of your inner state and taking action to get those needs met, so you can feel more at peace, fulfilled, and happy in your life.
Self-care is listening to your body when you’re feeling tired, burnt out, overwhelmed, or stressed. It’s not about indulgence or constant luxuries, but rather paying attention to the simple ways you can take personal responsibility for your own well-being and acknowledging when you need to slow down, take a break, or ask for help.
Self-care is the ultimate act of self-love. It’s knowing yourself intimately, believing in your self-worth, and setting healthy boundaries, so you’re not constantly self-sacrificing or putting your life on hold to meet the needs and desires of other people. This means having the self-awareness to know what you need and having the courage to say yes or no when necessary.
Giving the best of you, instead of what’s left of you.
As the mom of a special needs child, our founder, Ida Ufferman, understands exactly how important self-care is and how it affects every other area of your life.
“I’ve been prescribed extreme self-care as the result of parenting a special needs child. It’s the only way I know how to live and breathe and keep doing what I do. Because, ultimately, the way we care for ourselves affects everything. When I began coaching, I realized that self-care was really all I ever wanted to talk about. I have a passion and purpose to encourage, foster, and promote self-care first and foremost. After all, you can be super fit, train hard, and eat clean, but if you’re still critical and full of doubt, you’re NOT healthy.”
Self-care is not just about getting a manicure or going for a spa day. It’s a way to recharge and find what feeds our soul so we can carry on with our responsibilities. Only when we first help ourselves can we effectively help others.
“Through my self-care practice, I’m able to ‘give the best of me instead of what’s left of me’,” says Ida. Your self-care can be in the form of exercise, nutrition, or lifestyle habits. It allows you to “recharge” and serve those around you in a powerful way.
Women in particular need to keep an eye on their physical and mental health, because if we're scurrying to and from appointments and errands, we don't have a lot of time to take care of ourselves. We need to do a better job of putting ourselves higher on our own 'to do' list.
— Michelle Obama
Self-care is a lifestyle.
When it comes to self-care, many of us focus on trying to ‘fix’ things, improve ourselves, and ‘correct’ our habits. For example, focusing on weight loss and going to the gym (under the guise of self-care) to lose 20 pounds. But, we encourage you to look beyond the scale and your physical appearance!
Self-care is a lifestyle, which means making positive, life-affirming choices until they become habits. For example, turning off the TV instead of watching another episode of “Big Little Lies” because your alarm is going off at 5 am and you know your morning yoga class will make you feel good.
Here are 4 simple ways to make self-care a priority in your life:
1. Set goals and schedule your self-care time.
Setting self-care goals and deciding what you would like to do *for yourself* in the next 3-6 months is an important part of self-care. But, even more important, is actually making the time to take little steps towards your dreams. So schedule time into your calendar on a daily, weekly, or monthly basis. Especially, if you’re still in the habit-building stage and you’re struggling to stick to your self-care routine!
After adding everyone’s schedule on the calendar, I make sure that every day I have some sacred time for myself, so I can recharge.
— Gisele Bündchen
2. Find accountability buddies.
Creating self-care habits is a lot easier when you have the love and support of your friends and family. Ask your loved ones to hold you accountable for taking care of yourself. Whether by checking in once a week with a self-care text or by joining you during your painting classes and weekend hikes, sometimes we just need that extra nudge to remind us of how important we are until it becomes ingrained in our daily thoughts. Join us at BKTY for updates, reminders, and shopping (coming very soon). Remember, self-care is about self-responsibility!
3. Recognize your warning signs early.
A large part of self-care is knowing when you need it. This means learning what your tell-tale burn out signs are. Whether you tend to experience irritability, sleep problems, forgetfulness, or fatigue, make sure you know your own warning signs and act to make changes. Donʼt wait until you’re overwhelmed!
We have to take time for self, for the spiritual, without feeling guilty or selfish. The world will see you the way you see you, and treat you the way you treat yourself.
— Beyoncé
4. Ask for help when you need it.
We know you might not wish to “burden” others or admit that you can't handle everything yourself, but we believe that asking for help is actually a sign of personal strength and a healthy self-care habit. It comes back to knowing what you need and having the courage to seek it out. You could get help from community resources, family, friends, or professionals. Just make sure you ask them! Donʼt wait until your health fails or you feel lost and alone. Self-care can also be about recognizing when you’re self-sabotaging.
Want to boost your self-care? Check out our BKTY philosophy or follow us on Instagram for more reminders, tips, insights, and inspiration!
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